Welcome Nova-Rae Rose and 2018- Pregnancy, Child-Birth & the New Normal
I cannot believe it has been 2 months since my last post. While I can't say I did not have a good reason for my hiatus, I missed this blog terribly! With my Christmas tree officially put away and my New Year resolution list prepared- I felt like the start of 2018 was a prefect time to get my act together and focus on developing D Violet Interiors and this blog into the awesomeness it really is. I have so many exciting plans for my design company in 2018 and I feel like this blog is a great outlet to connect with all of you to share that. Cheers to growth and progression in 2018!!
But, lets get to the elephant in the room (this virtual room that is)- I HAD A BABY!!!
On November 30th at 1:05am after 36 hours of intense, long labor- I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl named Nova- Rae Rose. Her spirit and love lights up our life and we are so blessed to call her our daughter.
Online, I have fielded numerous questions about why I chose to not disclose my pregnancy on social media and the answer is pretty simple- I didn't want to. I know that sounds pretty harsh, but its not. My husband and I wanted to enjoy our pregnancy journey away from the constant pressure and judgement that social media creates. I didn't want to discuss my changing body, the struggles with my health or our family composition- I wanted to be happy. Pregnancy is such a long, personal experience. The wave of emotions that you go through on a weekly basis can be overwhelming without adding in another layer of stress from social media and spectators from afar. Does that mean we were not overjoyed to be expecting a girl? Hell No!! we both were so excited to grow our family and felt incredibly blessed with all of the positive energy in our life.
I think that social media creates such a level of expectation and entitlement in life. Following my brief stint on reality TV- I felt so isolated from everyone and everything and I believe social media added to that. At one point, I can remember going online and reading a comment where someone suggested that I should "Kill myself to put everyone else out of misery" from having to watch me on TV. At that point, I felt my lowest and it greatly affected my health, my marriage and my self-esteem. While its so easy for others to say "ignore it," it is nowhere near as simple when you are the one reading the cruel things people say. During that time of depression in my life, I learned to lean more on my husband and most importantly- God. I learned first-hand how strong I was and I learned to exercise grace and understanding when all I wanted to do was feel ashamed.
When I found out I was pregnant, I felt an overwhelming need to protect my energy and my space away from the possible negativity that I would face. This would include friends and family members as well. All I wanted to do was self-reflect and prepare mentally and physically for the blessing of Nova-Rae. This time of reflection made my marriage so much stronger and I am so grateful I allowed myself that space to breathe.
Health wise, my pregnancy was tough towards the end of a long nine months. In November, I was hospitalized for kidney issues relating to my Lupus and struggled after that to even maintain energy or even be mobile. Pregnancy is so damn hard and adding any illness to that equation is pretty much torture.With respect to my previous plastic surgery, pregnancy didn't affect my results at all except for my ass is probably 3x bigger than it was before I was pregnant. During my pregnancy (I gave birth at 37 weeks), I gained about 40lbs and I am happy to say most of that (besides a stubborn 15) has came off in just 4 weeks time. During the next 2 months, I am completely focused on improving my eating habits to assist in stabilizing my Lupus and I am sure that will help with the extra "thickness." For now, I am enjoying my extra curvy body and giving myself time to heal.
Since Nova was born, I have exclusively breastfed her and I plan to continue that for the next several months- despite the fact that she is hungry literally every 2 hours! When I am at work, I have to pump every 3 hours or so and doing that is literally the worst because I feel like a cow being milked. I think my staff has seen my giant boobs more times than I am proud of in the last few weeks. So far, Nova-Rae is pretty needy and ALWAYS wants to be held and cuddled by mommy and daddy. While this makes it pretty impossible to get anything done at home, I love cuddling with her and watching her sleep. I know these moments wont last forever and I am trying to soak them up with every chance I get. In the past, I have struggled with Postpartum Depression and I am so blessed that I did not face that struggle with the birth of Nova-Rae. Yes, I am still trying to find my flow with balancing having a newborn, working full time while still having a moment for myself, but I have granted myself grace and understanding in knowing that in time, I will figure it out.
I am so excited to see what things 2018 has in store. My heart is already so full of gratitude and thanks. Thank you for all of your continued support and prayers!